Ripples

Isaiah 60:2: "For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people..."

A few days ago, I'd written about Jacintha Saldanha. Yesterday, one of the worst shootings in recent history took place in Connecticut. This past Tuesday, a man went on a shooting spree in Oregon...

Forgive me for saying this, but when tragedies like this happen, my mind actually tends to focus on the perpetrator: What makes someone do something like that? How does a person get to that point?

I'm not justifying their actions, just trying to understand...

Today, as I thought about the school shooting, I couldn't help but think of ripples...

Imagine a calm lake. Then a single raindrop hits that lake. The raindrop causes circles of ripples in the water. Then a second raindrop. More ripples. Then another raindrop. More ripples. If these raindrops hit the water close enough to each other, their circles of ripples will touch, intersect...

Now imagine ten raindrops...fifty raindrops...one hundred--thousands of ripples touching, intersecting.

Indeed, none of us is an island unto himself. I am my brother's keeper...

What pain made Adam Lanza do what he did? What ripples of pain did he experience that made him cause such ripples of pain in the lives of others?

I'm not justifying his actions, just trying to understand...

I remember, when I was around 9 years old, teasing a retarded girl in my class. I remember her crying because of my teasing. 

I remember, when I was a child, something awful I said to my mother. She rose up from the dinner table and went to the bathroom to cry. 

I remember these things. I remember being the raindrop, causing these ripples. If I remember, do those I hurt also remember? Does the pain I caused them still impact their lives today?

I remember, in my 20s, I worked in a printing shop. A church called and asked if they could receive a discount on a print job. I coldly refused because I was still reeling from the pain I'd experienced in churches, reeling from a failed romance. Other peoples' bad decisions caused me pain, so I had to cause others pain.

I think about bad decisions I've made in my life. I'm not excusing my sins, but I can't help but wonder if I would've been less likely, less inclined to have made those bad decisions if I hadn't experienced such pain, rejection...ripples...

The pain we cause others encourages them to make bad decisions in response to that pain. Their bad decisions cause pain in the lives of others, which encourages those they've hurt to make bad decisions in response to that pain, and so on and so forth. 

The bad decision of the Australian DJs caused pain in Jacintha's life. Jacintha then made a bad decision in response to that pain. Jacintha's bad decision has caused pain in her children's lives. How will those ripples impact their lives?

How will Adam Lanza's horrible decision--his ripples--impact the lives of the parents, the siblings, the spouses of those he killed?

Alas, a tapestry of pain.

God sees this tapestry. He sees every raindrop, every ripple. He sees the intersections. And I'm sure this tapestry breaks His heart.

I guess this is why our forgiveness of others is so important to God. He sees this unending cycle of pain--one person hurts another, who hurts another, who hurts another. Humanity, destroying itself.

Sin...pain...anger...hurt...sin...pain...anger...hurt...

Raindrops...ripples...intersections...

This has to stop.

Heal us...

Help us...

Lord Jesus.