Jesus is My Valentine!

Song of Solomon 5:16

His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.

Love is in the air! After all, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I'm in a romantic mood.

Funny thing, I actually enjoy Valentine's Day more now that I'm single than when I was in relationships: No guy making sinful sexual demands of me, no pressure to buy gifts--just me and Jesus. Perfect intimacy. A perfect love. A perfect romance.

A male friend of mine and I were messaging on Facebook. This is the tail end of the conversation:

Me: Truth be told, I'm so jaded about relationships and love at this point, it would probably take an angelic visit to convince me to ever get married. But that's cool. I'll be God's lone warrior chick! Like a Christian Buffy the Vampire Slayer! 

Him: I'm sure God has the right person for you, and if not then you go before His altar and marry God.

I actually began weeping when I read my friend's message; I thought it was so beautiful.

And, I think in that moment, the enormity of this truth actually dawned on me: One day, I am actually going to go before God's altar and marry the Lord Jesus Christ. A perfect spiritual union. Perfect intimacy with God. I will see Him face to face. He will be mine and I will be His. No distractions. Just loving and enjoying each other for all eternity.

Speaking of distractions, last night, I had an interesting experience:

I thought about my regular Bible study and prayer check lists. And, while I was in the shower, I heard this in my heart--I believe, from the Lord--so strongly: "I don't want to be on a list of chores you have to check off."

I then had the most incredible vision:

A man comes home to his wife, gives her a kiss on the cheek, then takes out a note pad and a pen.

"What are you doing?" his wife asks.

"Just checking off 'Kiss wife'" he says.

Later, he hugs his wife. Again he takes out his note pad and pen and checks off Give wife hug.

Even worse, perhaps even after lovemaking later that night, the husband again takes out his note pad and pen and checks Make love off his To Do list.

How offensive would that be to the wife?! How offended would I be if my spouse did that to me? Yet, I tend to do this to Jesus. I put prayer/worship/Bible study on my daily or weekly To Do lists, and, indeed, sometimes prayer, worship, and Bible study begin to feel like chores. But...

Love should be passionate, wild, free, spontaneous, in the moment, aggressive, uninhibited! Not tired, scheduled, and routine.

I put prayer and Bible study on my To Do lists just because this helps to keep me organized, helps me keep my priorities in order, so nothing falls through the cracks (at least, I pretty much always put prayer and Bible study at the top of my lists).

Yet, it occurred to me: I never put breathing, eating, or sleeping on my To Do lists. Why? Because I know that if I don't do these things, I'll die. So, no matter what, I'm always gonna make time for these.

Well, I need Jesus more than I need food, sleep, and even air! I'd die without Him! Life isn't worth living without Him!

Yeah, things in my life are still super crazy--hence, the need for To Do lists: I'm still sorta job hunting (I kinda, sorta have a new job, but I haven't received an official offer letter yet. And this is making me nervous). I have an interview and a phone call with another recruiter tomorrow. I'll also be doing a little apartment hunting tomorrow, and so on and so forth.

My quiet time with the Lord still feels rushed.

I know, I'm guilty. I keep putting it off: I'll relax and enjoy Jesus once things settle down and we find a place to live. I'll relax and enjoy Jesus once I officially have a new job and get settled in.

I'll relax and enjoy Jesus when...

I guess we can keep putting it off forever.

I just want to love the Lord Jesus freely: no more super busyness, no more To Do lists!

*sigh!*

For what it's worth, Lord, You're beautiful. I love You. I really do. Happy Valentine's Day, my Love! XOXO!

Love,

Your tired, stressed out bride

Psalm 45

1 My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.

2 Thou art fairer than the children of men: grace is poured into thy lips: therefore God hath blessed thee for ever.

3 Gird thy sword upon thy thigh, O most mighty, with thy glory and thy majesty.

4 And in thy majesty ride prosperously because of truth and meekness and righteousness; and thy right hand shall teach thee terrible things.

5 Thine arrows are sharp in the heart of the king's enemies; whereby the people fall under thee.

6 Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever: the sceptre of thy kingdom is a right sceptre.

7 Thou lovest righteousness, and hatest wickedness: therefore God, thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

8 All thy garments smell of myrrh, and aloes, and cassia, out of the ivory palaces, whereby they have made thee glad.

9 Kings' daughters were among thy honourable women: upon thy right hand did stand the queen in gold of Ophir.

10 Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; forget also thine own people, and thy father's house;

11 So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him.

12 And the daughter of Tyre shall be there with a gift; even the rich among the people shall intreat thy favour.

13 The king's daughter is all glorious within: her clothing is of wrought gold.

14 She shall be brought unto the king in raiment of needlework: the virgins her companions that follow her shall be brought unto thee.

15 With gladness and rejoicing shall they be brought: they shall enter into the king's palace.

16 Instead of thy fathers shall be thy children, whom thou mayest make princes in all the earth.

17 I will make thy name to be remembered in all generations: therefore shall the people praise thee for ever and ever.